Lord, I desperately want to hear you, gain understanding and insight that is from you. The talking heads of this world are of no interest to me. But your wisdom I crave more than life.

Lord give me understanding for my black and brown brothers and sisters. Help me do the difficult work of lamenting, mourning and listening. Show me when to speak and what to say as a result. Give me boldness and courage to speak and stand for justice. Help me not view myself as a “savior” but instead a soldier for your peace, love and justice – gifts you desire for all human kind. Lord break my heart for what breaks yours.

Forgive me for desiring and seeking the easy way out, the comfortable and the least offensive. Forgive me for every time I’ve sought my own interests, instead of yours. Forgive me for every time I’ve contributed to systematic and personal racism and for every time I’ve thought of someone or treated them as anything other than a human being, known and loved by you and created in your image. I’m so sorry. Change me, Lord. Make me clean, make me new. Make me like yourself. Fill me with your spirit and show me how to walk in it. Where you lead me, I will go. Help me be a light in darkness – a light that doesn’t seek to illuminate self, but instead direct and point to you; the very light of the world.

Amen.

These are the words I prayed on Monday, June 1, 2020. I’ve recorded them straight out of my prayer journal, word-for-word. I’ve been at a loss for what to say this past week, so I share this instead.

I’m also sharing what I plan to do moving forward. I’m writing it here, online for all to see, as a form of accountability. I also hope it inspires others to join me to bring about change first in my own heart, then to the lives of my children, my family, my community, our nation and world.

Moving forward I pledge to:

1. Use my white privilege to help people of color. How?
   • Be a witness for people of color when they are stopped or questioned by police
   • Donate money, time and other needed resources to organizations dedicated to advocacy, education, and support for racial healing and antiracism
   • Speak up and stand up whenever I see or hear racial injustices
2. Attend a protest, rally or march
3. Have the hard conversations, but approach them by listening to understand and with a willingness to change
4. Start or join a support/discussion group that facilitates racial healing and antiracism
5. Pursue genuine relationships for myself and my kids with people of color
6. Educate myself. Books I plan to read:
   • White Rage: The Unspoken Truth of Our Racial Divide by Carol Anderson
   • Stamped from the Beginning: The Definitive History of Racist Ideas in America by Ibram X. Kendi
   • I’m Still Here: Black Dignity in a World Made for Whiteness by Austin Channing Brown
   • White Fragility: Why It’s So Hard for White People to Talk About Racism by Robin DiAngelo
   • Why Are All the Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria?: And Other Conversations About Race by Beverly Daniel Tatum
   • The Color of Law: A Forgotten History of How Our Government Segregated America by Richard Rothstein
   • White Awake: An Honest Look at What It Means to Be White by Daniel Hill
7. Teach my two white sons:
   • About racism, its history and how it continues today
   • To recognize and fight injustices against all minority groups
   • To embrace all cultures and learn about their traditions, holidays, foods, etc.
   • To participate in a protest, rally or march
   • To read diverse books (fiction and non-fiction) that feature protagonists of color, here  are some we’ve enjoyed:
     • Whoosh! Lonnie Johnson’s Super-Soaking Stream of Inventions by Chris Barton
     • The Hello, Goodbye Window by Norton Juster
     • The Snowy Day by Ezra Jack Keats
     • Corduroy by Don Freeman
     • The Ordinary People Change the World series by Brad Meltzer – many feature people of color, we’ve particularly like the Jackie Robinson and Martin Luther King Jr. editions. Also, PBS Kids has a TV show based on the books called Xavier Riddle and the Secret Museum
     • The Jesus Storybook Bible by Sally Lloyd-Jones and illustrated by Jago – a great illustrated bible for kids that doesn’t white-wash the characters of the bible­­
     • The Legend of the Bluebonnet by Tomie dePaola
     • We are going to start working through this list a friend shared with me.
8. Pray. I truly believe this is the single, most import act I can take. Pray for my own heart to change, for others hearts to change and that God’s will would be done here on earth as it is in heaven (Matthew 6:10). Prayer will help us fight this battle that is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, the authorities, and the powers of this dark world (Ephesians 6:12).

Update: I meant to share earlier two people of color I have appreciated listening to and following on social media. One is Latasha Morrison, founder of Be the Bridge and author of the book of the same name. The second is Lucretia Berry, founder of Brownicity and author of What Lies Between Us.

I’d love for you to join me in standing up for racial justice! Comment below how you plan to make a change or with any ideas you have, I’d like to read and try them too!