My family was attending a luncheon at a friend’s home. I stood at her kitchen counter as she prepped a gorgeous tray of fresh tomatoes, mozzarella and basil. She and I were lamenting over a particularly challenging individual that had recently made both our lives very difficult. I cracked some thoughtless joke about how this individual needed a distraction in her life – perhaps a boyfriend to keep her busy instead of tormenting our lives. And without hesitation, yet in grace and truth, my friend looked me straight in the eye and said, “she needs Jesus.”

I felt so gently corrected and truly convicted. Here I was rewriting her love story for my own gain and completely missing the most important love story- Jesus’ death and resurrection for all – including said challenging individual.

I vowed to pray for her regularly. I had just seen the movie The Case for Christ where Lee Strobel’s wife, Leslie, prays faithfully for her husband’s heart of stone to be replaced with a heart of flesh. So I did the same. Instead of praying for the challenges this person was putting my family through, I would pray that God would remove her heart of stone and replace it with a heart of flesh. I prayed that she would come to know Jesus.

I faithfully prayed this for months.

Then God gave me a nudge. He asked, “Kim, do you really believe I can and will give her a heart of flesh? If so, pray like you mean it!”

Ouch! I had been praying out of routine, without expecting any results or changes. I was not praying with any ounce of expectancy. Sure, I knew God could bring this individual to faith, but I didn’t think He would. She was just too hard, too selfish, too greedy. People like that never really change, right?

I wish I had some grand conversion story to tell you about this individual coming to faith in Jesus, but I don’t. I’m still praying for her heart of stone to become a heart of flesh.

But, I do have another conversion story to tell, mine. My conversion was from a faith-less prayer life to one of availability, humility, surrender and expectancy.

Previously, my prayer life was routine and heartless. I followed a set order of how to pray and checked all the boxes. Adoration – check. Confession – check. Thanksgiving – check. Supplication – check. This method is great until it becomes just a formula, just a “to do list” without feeling, depth or authenticity.

For years I had been praying out of duty not delight.

But God spoke to me that day, reminding me that He is able and willing to do what I ask, I just needed to truly believe He would. God also reminded me that He desires all to know Him and that my prayers were 100 percent in accordance with His will.

My prayers changed that day.

I’ve tried to allow myself more freedom in my praying, less formulaic and more conversational, so I don’t slide back into my check-list style mentality. I’ve been working more on listening while praying too, pausing to hear what the Lord is saying, allowing for guidance and course correction when necessary.

But perhaps most importantly – I’m learning to pray with expectancy. I pray knowing God will answer (Mark 11:22-24, John 5:7, John 14:13-14).

I still struggle when my prayers aren’t answered in the timing I’d like, but now instead of stopping my prayers I change them. I tell God why I’m frustrated and angry – after all He already knows how I’m feeling. He wants us to talk to Him through it all – our sadness, our anxiety, our fears, our anger – and when we bring all these things to God in prayer he give us His unimaginable peace (Philippians 4:7).

Is there someone or something you’ve been praying for and you aren’t seeing results? I’d love to hear about it and pray alongside you. Comment below or email me at tinysparkcreations at gmail dot com.