And Saying No to Everything Else

This post is third in a series.
Click here to read Part One: Finding Peace in Chaos
Click here to read Part Two: The Number One Way to Find Peace

I’m a mom of two active boys, ages nine and six. I’m married to a brilliant engineer who easily works 60 plus hours every week. I own a small business, volunteer at school, participate in ministry and manage many of our household responsibilities. To say I’m busy is an understatement. If I’m not buried in a mountain of laundry, I’ve got a kitchen sink full of dishes. I bet you can relate.

We live in a world that encourages doing more and filling every minute of our day. But if you look around, it doesn’t take long to see we are running ourselves ragged, and the pace the world wants us to maintain is simply impossible.

In this series we are exploring ways to find Jesus amid life’s busyness and how to embrace His perfect peace when life feels completely chaotic. Last week, we explored knowing and surrendering to Jesus, the Prince of Peace. This week, let’s discuss embracing peace by learning when to say no.

I have a hard time saying no. I express my love, care and appreciation for those around me by doing and meeting needs. You need volunteers for that event? Sure, I’ll be there. You’re seeking donations for an amazing nonprofit? Here, take my money. Your sisters’, husband’s, uncle’s, friend… you get the picture.

I feel good when I’m helping others. But what ends up happening to me time and again is I’ve said yes to so many things that I’ve missed out on investing in the things and people I value most. My time, my money and my talents are stretched so thin that my stress and anxiety rises which chases away every ounce of peace.

So, how do I salvage, or better yet, embrace and grow the peace I have?

Identify What’s Most Important

Years ago, a spiritual mentor gave me a helpful tool. This tool has become essential to helping me determine when to say yes. Knowing when to say yes and when to say no has allowed me to develop the margin needed to cultivate peace.

This mentor encouraged me to view my life like a large glass jar. First, I need to identify the things in my life to classify as big rocks. Big rocks would be what is most important in my life. Big rocks must be placed in the jar first, meaning they get priority regarding my time, emotions, money and other resources.

After prayerful consideration and listening to God, I’ve decided my big rocks for 2023 are my relationship with God, my family, growing deeper friendships and writing.

After I’ve identified my big rocks, and placed them in my jar, I now need to continue the process by identifying my small rocks, sand and water. If I put things into my jar in the order of importance from big rocks down to water it ensures the right things, the things I’ve determined to be most important, fill my days.

In contrast, if I fill my days with the least important things first (symbolized by water), then when I place my big rocks, the important things, into my jar, it will overflow and make a mess. When I don’t prioritize the things God has called me to do, my life becomes dominated by stress, anxiety, anger and more!

The key to this tool being effective is first seeking Jesus. Ask Him how he wants you to use your time, money and talents. Matthew 6:33 says to “Seek the Kingdom of God above all else… and he will give you everything you need.” In these days of busyness and chaos, my heart longs for and needs the peace of Jesus. I’ll continue to seek Him regarding what’s most important and run hard after those things, saying no to everything else. Will you join me?