I hate living in uncertainty. Unmade decisions make me uneasy. Therefore, I rarely encounter a problem that I think is unsolvable. However, sometimes life throws me a curve ball by way of a situation that is out of my control.
In these moments I often allow the uncertainty of the situation to cloud my judgement and affect my internal dialogue. My mind is filled with thoughts like:
nothing good will come from this,
you have no say in this situation,
no one understands or cares about what you are going through, or
my problems are so trivial compared to what others are navigating and experiencing.
These internal conversations often leave me feeling alone and riddled with anxiety and worry.
I found myself saying these things just a few weeks ago. I noticed I was often on the verge of tears while simultaneously ready to snap and unleash my pent-up anger. My body was literally trying to flag me down to tell me to pull over, take a break, rest.
I’m glad I saw the signs. I don’t always, which usually results in me saying or doing something I regret. Thankfully in this moment I listened.
As I began to evaluate my inner dialogue, I realized I was embracing two false narratives. First, it became very clear I was thinking I was all alone in my circumstances. Second, I was telling myself that everything was happening to me, and that I was merely a victim of others’ choices.
Once I identified the erroneous messages filling my head, I was able to address them with truth.
You are Never Alone
The first falsehood, “I’m alone,” was easy to remedy. Growing up in church I was constantly reminded that “He will never leave me or forsake (abandon) me” (Deuteronomy 31:6). And though I may feel alone in my circumstances and feelings, the Bible also tells me that Jesus sympathizes with my weaknesses and struggles because he too experience temptations (Hebrews 4:15).
So, even though I am often falling into the trap of feeling alone, I’m comforted by the reminder that I have a friend in Jesus who sticks closer than a brother (Proverbs 18:24). The most effective way I personally combat my loneliness is to spend time journaling and praying. This habit helps me calm my anxious thoughts. It also recenters my attention back to Jesus instead of my circumstances. Other habits I’ve found helpful are taking a walk, playing my favorite music, or creating something with my hands like drawing, painting, baking, or gardening.
Fixing Your Eyes on Jesus
The second message, “I’m the victim,” was harder to untangle.
I had finished journaling and praying about feeling alone and my entire physical being had improved. My shoulders were relaxed. My breathing was steady and rhythmic. I was calm. Nothing about my circumstances had changed, but my perspective had. During my time with Jesus, He had drawn my gaze away from myself and my situation and back toward Him.
Have you ever noticed while driving your car that if you get distracted by something on the side of the road that your car starts drifting towards where you are looking? The same is true in life. Your life will start drifting in the direction you’re looking. If I want my life pointed towards Jesus, not my ever-changing circumstances, I must keep my eyes fixed on Him.
So even when a situation is truly out of my control, the things I allow to capture my attention and focus are up to me. Today, I’m choosing to fix my eyes on Jesus, the author and perfector of my faith (Hebrews 12:1).
Reflection
- What narratives are you telling yourself today? Are they true? What Bible verses may help you in your current circumstances?
- What habits/routines help you fix your eyes on Jesus?
Further Reading
Here are some other posts that may help you navigate life when things seem out of your control: