It was Christmas morning 2019. We were gathered around the Christmas tree, torn paper flung in every direction. The boys had opened every last gift and were weighing the important decision of which toy to play with first. How wonderfully simple life often is for children.

But before Tommy tackled his first Lego building project, he handed me a small package wrapped in plain white paper. “Mommy” was scribbled in red ink on the top.

“I picked this out for you at the school Christmas store,” he said, “I know you’ll like it.”

The gift itself wasn’t a surprise, after all Jon and I had given him a small amount of money to pick out a gift for his little brother and both of us. He had already explained to me how he picked out a University of Miami cozy for Daddy since Ohio State cozies weren’t available at his central Florida elementary school. In his Kindergarten mind college football teams must all be the same, but don’t worry fellow Buckeyes, we are working to rectify this misunderstanding. I honestly can’t even remember what Tommy picked for Lukas – likely a slinky or some other small knick knack that was broken five minutes later. But I wasn’t prepared for what was inside this simple white package.

I opened it as Tommy looked on. Inside was a sleek red ballpoint pen with the words “World’s Best Teacher” written on the side.

I’m sure the Christmas store organizers assumed this pen would be selected as a teacher gift, placed on the desk inside the classroom, used to write lesson plans and grade papers. But here it was, lovingly gifted into my inexperienced hands.

“Do you like it Mommy?” Tommy asked. And before I could answer he added, “I picked it for you because I know you want to write more.”

It’s odd to feel completely seen by a child. In the midst of his very normal six year old life he had heard me talk about writing; he had seen me trying to make time for it; he wanted to participate by providing me with the tools to practice. Isn’t he kind and brilliant? Of course, I am a tad biased.

At the time Tommy picked out the pen, I’m pretty certain he couldn’t even read the words printed on the side “World’s Best Teacher.” He simply saw a pretty red pen and thought, “My Mom would like this.” Yet, God was using this simple gift from my son to whisper a message to me I didn’t even know I needed yet… “You are Tommy’s first and best teacher.”

Three months later would be the beginning of our year long journey of distance learning. I would quickly find out through ups and downs… tears and frustration… that despite not being a teacher, God had purposely placed me in Tommy’s life to serve as his primary educator and encourager. I’ve also come to realize that I’ve always been these things to my children; it just took a pandemic for me to understand it.

Our biggest challenge this year has been learning to read. At the beginning of the year, Tommy would cry every time he was asked to read independently for school. I admit I had to bribe him with candy just to get him to crack a book (probably not my finest parenting decision). I felt like I was failing him and that perhaps doing school from home for first grade was the worse decision I could have made for him.

Despite the challenges, I had the honor of actively participating and watching him grow and succeed. Every time he progressed to the next reading level was like a little dance party in my soul.

In her recent book That Sounds Fun, Annie F. Downs talks a lot about embracing being an amateur and how not everything in life requires me to be a professional. This year I embraced being Tommy’s amateur teacher and was blessed when God allowed me to witness Tommy flourish and grow. God molded me into the “World’s Best Teacher” for Tommy, a job I am beyond honored to hold.

For a long time I didn’t use the pen Tommy picked out for me. It almost felt too precious or like I couldn’t live up to its expectations. I put it in a drawer and left it alone until one day Tommy asked me about it, “where’s the pen I got you, Mommy? Have you written anything with it?” Thankfully, I remembered where I’d put it and retrieved it to show him. After that, I left it next to my journal and decided to start using it.

It serves as a reminder that God has called me to train my children in the way they should go and point them in the right direction (Proverbs 22:8). During this year of intense togetherness, I’ve had ample opportunity to train and guide, everything from unloading the dishwasher to money management. But I’m also reminded that the best way to teach any concept or skill is by example. And if my boys learn anything from me this year, I want it to be to follow Jesus even when the future is uncertain and you don’t feel qualified, remembering God has a perfect plan if we are willing to step out in faith and simply follow Him, one step at a time.

Questions:

1. Has God ever called you to something you didn’t feel qualified to do? What was it and how did God use you?
2. How has this past year stretched you? What is one area you’ve grown in this year that likely would have remained unchanged had it not been for the pandemic?